Making sure that you get on well with your partner's family is just as important as your relationship. I can't stand my in laws and it's been making me miserable for 15 years. I love my wife and can't face leaving but also can't make her choose between me or her family.
@fesshole it helps if both of you know how/why each inlaws are horrible
you don't have to do something about it, but at least you can vent to each other
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@fesshole I hope you two can talk about it. Not everyone seems aware of that possibility.
@fesshole I've just past the 10 year mark of not speaking to some of my family. The thing is that there is a reasonable chance it's making your partner miserable too.
@fesshole my ex's parents both disliked me, though think it was more "he can do better", she was a nightmare
@fesshole Unless they live with you or are in some way completely unavoidable, this whole issue can be resolved with communication. You could both agree that when a family thing comes up, you could always have alternative plans yourself.